Ch 129 (Extra 11): Reborn to Raise My Husband

Lin Qingyu & Gu Yanxu (Part 2)

In that instant, Gu Yanxu felt a weight press down over him—Lin Qingyu had already leaned over him.

Because it seemed… he had softly murmured in agreement.

When Gu Yanxu heard Lin Qingyu ask whether they would consummate the marriage tonight, he was so overwhelmed with embarrassment that his mind went completely blank, leaving him not knowing what to do or what to say.

Even though he was deeply flustered, his awareness had still responded. Perhaps he feared that if he did not answer, things would end up as they had on their wedding night.

Before the marriage, his family had arranged for an older fulang to instruct him in matters between husband and husband. Even if such instruction had not been arranged, he already understood these things.

Ever since he had learned to read, he had liked to read those less reputable storybooks, the kind filled with tales of love and passion.

And where there were love stories, there were naturally descriptions of intimacy.

Because the books were not of refined standing, the descriptions were all the more detailed and bold, filled with all manner of variations.

When he first read them, he would hide within his bed curtains, blushing furiously. Translated on Hololo novels. But after years of reading such stories, he could now lounge openly on the couch in broad daylight while flipping through them.

Knowing was one thing—but he had never experienced it himself.

On the day of the wedding, it was not the first time he had seen Lin Qingyu.

When the top scholar had paraded through the streets, he had gone to Anhua Lou to join the crowd and catch a glimpse of his bearing.

At that time, however, he had felt little beyond thinking that the top three graduates that year were all quite impressive.

The title of top scholar came once every three years. As someone born and raised among the nobility in the capital, he had long since lost any particular excitement for such parades of new jinshi.

Later, when his father heard that the emperor intended to select consorts, he feared that a ger like Gu Yanxu—raised in luxury, outwardly composed and proper yet inwardly simple in nature—would suffer if he entered the palace. So he hastily chose a suitable son-in-law from among the talented young men in the capital.

After that, Gu Yanxu saw Lin Qingyu two more times—once for a formal meeting, and once when the betrothal gifts were presented.

In other words, by the time they were married, he had seen Lin Qingyu three times in total, while Lin Qingyu had only seen him twice.

During their formal meeting, they had exchanged few words, observing propriety and keeping their distance.

He was composed; Lin Qingyu was cool and reserved. When the two were together, it was difficult for any feelings to arise.

If they had been the kind of people who fell in love based on appearance alone, perhaps a single glance would have been enough to stir affection.

But both were exceptionally good-looking and had seen plenty of beauty before; neither was someone who would base feelings on appearance.

Yet on the wedding day, when the veil was lifted, he saw Lin Qingyu dressed in bright red wedding robes, his features like a painting, his bearing cool and upright, standing close before him like the unworldly, transcendent gentleman described in storybooks.

He felt that although he did not have the overwhelming, tempestuous emotions described in those tales, he did not dislike this person.

Since they were married, he was willing to do what was proper between them.

Only, he and Lin Qingyu were still unfamiliar with each other. And with such matters, he was nervous. Not wanting to show any weakness before Lin Qingyu, he kept his face taut and composed, even more so than during their formal meeting.

They removed their elaborate robes. The incense in the room carried a faint effect of arousal, and Lin Qingyu seemed prepared to proceed according to custom.

Yet for some reason, he looked at him deeply for a moment before asking,

“Junzhu… are you unwilling?”

Gu Yanxu’s long, elegant brows twitched slightly. What did he mean by asking that?

If he said he was unwilling, that wasn’t true. But if he said he was willing… wasn’t that the sort of answer a ge’er would only give in those tender, affectionate moments described in storybooks?

Yet he did not feel that kind of deep, lingering affection toward Lin Qingyu, so how could he bring himself to say such soft, yielding words?

Lifting his slender neck slightly, he said, “I never said you couldn’t touch me.”

Lin Qingyu’s brows faintly tightened, almost imperceptibly. After a long silence, he said in a calm, indifferent tone, “Sleep.”

Gu Yanxu was completely bewildered. He did not understand what had come over Lin Qingyu. He did not seem angry, yet he did not seem pleased either.

Hearing those words, however, Gu Yanxu felt a flicker of anger. Since Lin Qingyu was not going to proceed, he certainly would not beg him to.

And so, on their wedding night, the two of them rested with their own thoughts, each harboring unspoken feelings.

In the days after their marriage, Lin Qingyu remained neither warm nor cold.

At first, Gu Yanxu carried himself with lofty composure, just as he did outside, fully maintaining the noble bearing of a duke’s son and Anping Junzhu.

In the beginning, he had no particular feelings for Lin Qingyu, so whether Lin Qingyu treated him with closeness or distance did not matter to him.

But gradually, as they lived under the same roof, his feelings began to change.

On rainy days when they went out to banquets, Lin Qingyu would hold an umbrella for him, keeping him sheltered at his side;

When he happened to learn that Gu Yanxu liked crab roe pastries, he would bring some back when he encountered new ones at pastry shops after work;

At dinner, he would also pick food for him…

Gu Yanxu was simple-hearted and easily moved. Bit by bit, his heart came to hold Lin Qingyu.

Yet while his feelings had changed, Lin Qingyu remained the same—neither truly close, nor distant. He had never treated him poorly, but neither was there warmth beyond what was proper.

He did not know that Lin Qingyu had never wished to marry him in the first place, nor that this treatment was simply Lin Qingyu fulfilling the duties of a husband.

So on one side, he maintained the dignity of a Junzhu before Lin Qingyu; on the other, he felt troubled and uncertain, not knowing what to do.

Now that he felt they had grown a little closer than before, he did not want to miss this chance.

But when Lin Qingyu’s breath brushed against his neck, he felt a trace of regret. Earlier, when asked, he had given one kind of answer; now, when asked again, it was another. Would Lin Qingyu laugh at him even more?

Yet there was no time to dwell on it. The sensations of the moment pulled him back.

His face flushed red. Within the layers of curtains, nothing could be seen clearly, but simply knowing what was happening made his face burn all the more.

Still, when he realized that Lin Qingyu did not seem particularly practiced in such matters—at least not as effortlessly skilled as described in storybooks—his nearly overheated face eased slightly.

“You… haven’t done this before?”

The rain outside still poured loudly, but the voice of the person beneath him was still clear—they were simply too close.

Lin Qingyu paused slightly. His usually cool voice seemed tinged with warmth, turning a little hoarse.

“I’ve only been married once.”

Hearing this, an inexplicable sense of pleasure rose in Gu Yanxu’s heart.

He asked again, “Before marriage, you didn’t have anyone in your chambers?”

In the dimness, Lin Qingyu’s hand traced along Gu Yanxu’s fair, slender waist. “No. I’ve read some books, but there are still things I’m unfamiliar with.”

He added, “If it hurts, tell me.”

Gu Yanxu’s face flushed again.

There was some discomfort, but he could bear it.

Thinking that even a great scholar could have uncertainties, he felt that, in this, they were equal.

Recalling the various depictions in storybooks, Gu Yanxu, who had been lying properly, shifted his legs slightly, adjusting himself to better receive him.

Lin Qingyu stilled.

A moment later, the sounds within the room grew more pronounced.

Rain fell heavily through the entire night, its steady rhythm almost lulling.

But not everyone slept.

At dawn the next day, the sky just beginning to lighten—

Lin Qingyu woke, lifting a corner of the bed curtains to see that the room was already faintly bright.

His brows tightened. He quickly rose carefully from the bed.

Since he had first begun studying, he had never woken this late. In haste, he washed, changed into his official robes, and prepared himself, not even having time for breakfast.

But before leaving, he turned back.

Gently lifting the bed curtain, he glanced inside.

On the bed, Gu Yanxu’s hair was slightly disheveled. Without any adornment, he looked as pure and delicate as a night-blooming flower, still sleeping quietly.

A faint, unnoticed smile touched Lin Qingyu’s lips as he slowly lowered the curtain.

He instructed the servants to prepare some porridge for Gu Yanxu and not to disturb his rest, then hurried off to court.

Hearing the footsteps fade, Gu Yanxu, who had long since been awake, slowly opened his eyes.

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