Ch 127 (Extra 9): Reborn to Raise My Husband

Xiao Yuanbao later dreamed again of how the two of them had pledged themselves for life, and how Qi Beinan had exposed Madam Qin’s pretense of virtue in front of Xiao Hu…

Then their marriage… their journey to Linzhou to begin their life together…

The rest of the dream passed like fleeting glimpses, flashing by in fragments.

“Die, hasn’t Xiao Die woken yet?”

“Shh, keep your voice down. Xiao Die has been taking care of Yue ge’er and hasn’t slept well at night. Let him rest a while longer.”

“Mm.”

Xiao Yuanbao faintly heard the small voices, and as the dream faded, he woke.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the familiar canopy of soft green gauze above him and lingered in a brief daze.

Only after realizing where he was did he raise a hand to part the layered curtains. As they fell open, he saw a tall figure standing by the window, reading at the desk.

Dark brows like ink, eyes deep as an abyss, the same face as the one in his dream.

Only, the person in the dream had carried the bright, spirited air of youth, while the man before him now bore the calm and warmth shaped by years.

Hearing movement, Qi Beinan instinctively looked up and saw Xiao Yuanbao sitting quietly on the bed, watching him.

“You’re awake?”

Qi Beinan set his book aside and walked over.

Xiao Yuanbao spoke softly, “Why are you reading here? Wouldn’t the study be more spacious and brighter?”

Qi Beinan sat at the edge of the bed. “I saw you asleep here, so I thought I’d read for a while nearby. Just like when you were little. Isn’t it nice?”

A faint smile curved at Xiao Yuanbao’s lips. “Why are you so clingy? You can’t even bear to be apart from others more than Jingzhe and Yue ge’er.”

“Just now, I thought I heard Jingzhe’s voice. Did he come in?”

Qi Beinan said, “He came to see you, saw you were still asleep, and went out to play in the garden.”

“You’ve been sleeping more lately. Is something wrong with your health?”

Xiao Yuanbao shook his head. “It’s nothing. I’ve had the doctors outside take a look, and Sister Gui examined me as well. It’s just autumn drowsiness.”

As he spoke, he tilted his head and leaned into Qi Beinan’s embrace. “I had so many dreams.”

Hearing the lingering softness of sleep in his voice, Qi Beinan wrapped an arm around him and asked gently, “What did you dream about?”

Enveloped in Qi Beinan’s warmth, Xiao Yuanbao felt especially at ease and slowly recounted everything he had seen.

“Tell me… why would I dream something like that? I feel like the person in the dream was me, as if we were cast from the same mold. And yet, I also feel it wasn’t me. I’m not that kind of person.”

“In the past, I would sometimes dream of my childhood in the village, or of the people and things in the county. But in those dreams, you were always there. These recent dreams are strange… they’re of more than ten years of time where you weren’t there at all.”

After speaking, Xiao Yuanbao waited for a while, but Qi Beinan said nothing.

His brows shifted slightly. Translated on Hololo novels. He thought himself foolish for taking dreams so seriously. They were illusions, after all.

Perhaps it was because the Junzhu had visited him during his confinement and, fearing he might be bored, had given him a couple of books to pass the time.

After reading them, he had placed himself into the stories—and so ended up dreaming those strange dreams.

Seeing that Qi Beinan did not comment, he added, “I was only speaking casually.”

Qi Beinan remained silent for a long time.

Life now was peaceful. He had first gained Jingzhe, bright and lovable, and now their dear second child, Erbao, had been born safely.

In such harmony and fullness, he had rarely thought of the past life anymore.

But hearing Xiao Yuanbao’s dream now, he felt suddenly shaken, emotions surging within him.

He asked, “In your dream… you told him to make osmanthus cakes and send them over?”

Xiao Yuanbao, seeing that Qi Beinan had been silent for so long yet suddenly asked this, realized he had been listening all along.

“Mm.”

He nodded. “I saw he was hesitating, so I told him to fight for himself just once. He did listen—and truly went and made them.”

Qi Beinan suddenly let out a soft laugh. In that single laugh was contained far too much emotion.

In truth, back then, after he had passed the examinations and taken office, what happened when he went to the village was no different from what Xiao Yuanbao had seen in his dream.

At that time, seventeen-year-old Xiao Yuanbao had been timid and lacking in confidence, believing himself inferior in every way, with nothing he felt he could rely on.

From their first meeting, Qi Beinan had already discerned his general disposition.

Such a temperament was, in truth, not especially likable.

For one, he was not open or generous; for another, his thoughts were difficult to read, which easily led to misunderstandings.

But Qi Beinan knew this was the result of upbringing, not Xiao Yuanbao’s fault.

Because of that, he had been especially patient, hoping to make up for what he owed him.

Even knowing Xiao Yuanbao’s nature, he had still been young then. Translated on Hololo novels. When his one-sided devotion in matters of the heart received not the slightest response, he could not help but fall into restless thoughts.

It was only when Xiao Yuanbao sent him a stack of pastries he had made with his own hands that he regained his confidence.

Which was to say, back then, Xiao Yuanbao truly had made those pastries for him.

Hearing Xiao Yuanbao speak of how, in his dream, he had urged his former self to fight for himself just once, Qi Beinan suddenly felt as though everything had been fated from the very beginning.

In those days, of course, there had been no dreamer to advise him. The pastries could be given away, or not fought for, since such things were easy to obtain again. Miss this time, and there would always be another.

Fine pastries could always be had again.

But a beloved langjun was different. Miss him once, and he would be gone forever.

People are not all the same. Rather than do nothing and regret it for a lifetime, it is better to be brave once in the present.

Even if things failed, one could look back on it without regret.

But back then, Xiao Yuanbao had no one to rely on, not even a close friend. Who would have told him such reasoning?

And yet, even without anyone to say it to him, with that very temperament of his, he still fought for himself once.

Because of this, Xiao Yuanbao dreaming of speaking to his former self was, in truth, nothing more than the thoughts he had once carried in his own heart.

Seeing that Qi Beinan had been listening and did not find his dream absurd, but was instead discussing it seriously with him, Xiao Yuanbao voiced the doubt in his heart:

“Tell me, the me in the dream was so timid and small in spirit. You, who had already seen the vast world and become a great official… how could you possibly have taken a liking to me?”

Stories of an emperor’s favored scholar falling for a countryside ge’er or girl did exist, though not many.

It was the countryside ge’er and girls who liked such tales. But those who wrote books did not favor them, for they themselves would not fall in love with countryside ge’er or girls. The scholars who held the brush preferred the sons and daughters of wealthy families.

Even those who wrote were like this, let alone someone like Qi Beinan, whose future was so promising.

Even if, because of good character, he upheld the marriage agreement, it would still be difficult for him to truly love the person Xiao Yuanbao had been in the dream.

At Xiao Yuanbao’s question, Qi Beinan smiled. Though he had never carefully analyzed or thought through exactly why he loved Xiao Yuanbao, when asked, the answer was already in his heart:

“I am, after all, somewhat different from others.”

He had lost his mother at a young age and had been raised by his father.

His father had been a true gentleman, devoted to love with unwavering constancy. Even after losing his wife in his prime, he never remarried, nor did he have any affairs.

With such a father as his example and under his guidance, Qi Beinan naturally grew upright in character.

Later, after his father passed, he devoted himself to his studies. Even when he grew older and felt the stirrings of affection, he placed them all upon the fiancé fulang he had never met for many years.

Because of this, when he first met Xiao Yuanbao, he already carried both responsibility and a measure of bias toward him.

But experience from those before him was not wrong. The delight of first sight fades easily. If one loves only by appearance, how could it last?

Xiao Yuanbao truly had no outstanding talents. If it were only a matter of responsibility, Qi Beinan could indeed have cared for him for a lifetime.

But in his heart, perhaps he would not have been able to truly love him.

“But just like that plate of osmanthus cakes you made with your own hands and brought to me, it was enough to show that the you in the dream was not as others judged you to be.”

“What I liked was not the pastries themselves, but the resilience behind them. A blade of grass breaking through the soil may seem insignificant and fragile, but the roots buried beneath run deep and far.”

There is no enduring love in this world that comes without reason. His years of lingering attachment to Xiao Yuanbao might have had other causes, but the most important reason was Xiao Yuanbao himself. Translated on Hololo novels. He truly possessed something worthy of love.

“So even if, back then, I had not come to rely on you and grow up by your side as in reality, but instead as in the dream… my feelings would have been the same.”

After hearing this, Xiao Yuanbao’s heart could not calm for a long time.

He was deeply moved, because Qi Beinan was not speaking pretty words to placate his dream, but had truly given his reasons.

“What you say makes sense. Thinking on it carefully, I like you, certainly in part because of your handsome appearance and your outstanding talent and ability.

“But in the end, what I like most is that whether in wealth or poverty, the way you treat others never changes; and your patience, your kindness… in the end, it all comes down to your character.”

He spoke his thoughts aloud, letting Qi Beinan know his heart.

Hearing this, Qi Beinan was naturally pleased. He pulled Xiao Yuanbao into his arms and asked, “Did you dream of anything else?”

Xiao Yuanbao paused. “Just some days of you serving as an official in Linzhou.”

Qi Beinan said, “Then do you want to know what happened afterward?”

“Afterward… what happened?”

“…There were many hardships and difficulties along the way, tears that could not be counted, and nights that could not be endured. But in the end… it all came to fulfillment.”

Xiao Yuanbao looked at him deeply, then smiled. “What is there to fear? Life is never smooth sailing. As long as we cherish what is before us now, it is enough that the ending is complete.”

Qi Beinan pressed a kiss to his brow. “I think the same.”

Qi Beinan did not speak of what came later, and Xiao Yuanbao did not mention what he had dreamed of afterward.

Neither wished for the other to know those things and grow troubled at heart.

And yet, precisely because they knew those stories, they would cherish even more the present that had not come easily.

Whether it was a dream, or something that had once truly happened, in this life, they would remain together until old age…

˙✧˖°🎓 ༘⋆｡ ˚

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