Ch 122 (Extra 4): Reborn to Raise My Husband

In the spring of the thirty-fifth year of Kaide, Qi Beinan returned to the capital from the Southwest. The salt administration that had lasted nearly five years was finally concluded.

When he first went to the Southwest to handle the salt affairs, eager to finish his duties quickly and return to the capital, he had cracked down on illicit salt in Lianping too swiftly and too harshly. Many loose ends were left behind. It alarmed the greater forces in other prefectures of the Southwest, making subsequent investigations far more difficult.

Circumstances shifted, and in the end it took four or five full years to settle the salt administration in the Southwest properly—about the same length of time as his earlier handling of salt matters.

This time, however, more was accomplished. Illicit salt throughout the realm was thoroughly purged, and the state treasury grew considerably fuller.

Over those four or five years, he traveled repeatedly between the capital and the Southwest. The distance was great, the official duties heavy. The time he truly spent at home could not be called much.

“Xiao-die.”

Qi Jingzhe turned his head several times toward the mouth of the alley. He had waited most of the day. Now that the hour of dismissal drew near, he felt even less certain in his heart.

He reached out to hold Xiao Yuanbao’s hand and asked softly, “Will Daddy like me?”

Hearing this, Xiao Yuanbao lowered his eyes to the small, worried face. His brow moved slightly.

“How could Daddy not like you? Every letter he sends asks whether you’re eating well and whether you’ve grown taller. Last time we mailed him your handwriting, he even praised you for doing well. Didn’t Xiao-die read you the letter?”

Qi Jingzhe pressed his lips together and kicked at a pebble by his foot.

“But that was only in a letter. Daddy didn’t see me with his own eyes. What if he sees me and finds I haven’t grown very tall, and my characters aren’t all written neatly? What if he doesn’t like me then?”

At this, Xiao Yuanbao let out a soft breath and bent to lift the child into his arms.

Hearing such words from him, his own heart ached.

One year after Jingzhe was born, Qi Beinan had gone back to the Southwest for salt affairs. During the time when he could have been closest to the child, Jingzhe had still been too young to remember.

When he grew older—able to speak, to run, to jump—Qi Beinan was far away in the Southwest. They saw each other only once or twice a year, and even then the visits were hurried.

Just as the child began to grow close to him, he would have to leave again.

It was much like Xiao Yuanbao’s own childhood—just as he grew close to Xiao Hu, his father would head into the mountains again.

Now that he was a parent himself, he finally understood how difficult it was to be a father.

One wished to stay and accompany the child more, yet life demanded work. It was hard to have both. A sense of indebtedness lingered in his heart.

But he himself had grown up this way. He could understand the child’s unease.

“Today our Jingzhe bathed until he smells sweet, and he’s wearing the new clothes Aunt Gui made. So well-behaved and sensible, not naughty at all. Of course grown-ups will like you.”

Xiao Yuanbao kissed the child’s soft, pale cheek. “Later I’ll tell Daddy that our Jingzhe waited at the gate all morning for him to come home. Daddy will surely be happy.”

“Really?”

Qi Jingzhe still asked cautiously.

“Of course.”

“Then will Daddy kiss me like Xiao-die does?”

Qi Jingzhe thought: if Daddy kisses him too, then he must like him the same way Xiao-die does.

But if he doesn’t kiss him, then… then it must be a different kind of liking.

Perhaps grown-ups like people differently.

Just as his thoughts wandered, the sound of carriage wheels rolling over bluestone drifted down the alley.

A familiar carriage approached the residence.

Jingzhe recognized their family carriage. He craned his neck high. “Is that Daddy?”

Xiao Yuanbao carried him out to the gate.

If it was not Qi Beinan, then who could it be? The carriage was driven by Qin Jiang.

The carriage had barely stopped, not yet fully steady, when the curtain was lifted and a tall man jumped down from inside.

Jingzhe had not seen his own father for nearly a year. Truthfully, he barely remembered what Daddy looked like.

He had imagined that when he saw him, he might feel strange.

But when that man walked toward him with a smile, he felt especially warm and familiar.

For a moment he found it odd—then suddenly understood why.

Because when he looked into the bronze mirror, the little face staring back—those high dark brows and the straight nose—looked so much like Daddy’s.

Like clay figurines from the same mold at the mud-figure stall in the outer city.

“Jingzhe, it’s been so long since you’ve seen Daddy. Why don’t you say anything? Don’t you miss Daddy?”

Qi Beinan looked at the little child in Xiao Yuanbao’s arms. Compared to the last time he had seen him, he had grown nearly a head taller. Those eyes blinked quietly—nothing like the mischievous child Xiao Yuanbao described in letters.

“Daddy,” Jingzhe called softly, a little shy.

At the sound, Qi Beinan reached out and took the child into his arms, planting a loud kiss on him. “It’s been so long since I saw our Jingzhe. Daddy missed you to death. And now you’ve grown so tall.”

Jingzhe’s bright black eyes lit up instantly. Hearing Daddy say he missed him—and being kissed just like Xiao-die did—made his heart feel as though a little bird were fluttering inside.

He wrapped his arms around Qi Beinan’s neck, rested his head on his shoulder, and whispered, “Jingzhe missed Daddy too.”

Xiao Yuanbao watched the father and son and shook his head with a smile.

He knew Qi Beinan well. There was no way he would ever let his child grow distant from him.

When Xiao Yuanbao himself had been timid and quiet as a child, Qi Beinan had coaxed him into closeness. How much easier with Jingzhe, whose nature was already bright and lively.

Though only a few words were needed for father and son to grow close, that evening when Xiao Yuanbao laughingly told Qi Beinan how Jingzhe had feared he might not be liked, Qi Beinan still felt a pang in his heart.

He felt he had burdened Xiao Yuanbao these years and neglected accompanying his child.

“Every few days I send a letter. Everything needed for food and daily use I send home. Even the capital post stations know our household. Who doesn’t say that Lord Qi is devoted to his family?”

Xiao Yuanbao turned his head toward him. “You’ve already done very well. A man standing tall between heaven and earth cannot, in the prime of his life—when he can serve the people and the court—circle only around his fulang and child.”

“Jingzhe likes you. That’s why he was afraid you might not like him.”

Qi Beinan laughed and drew Xiao Yuanbao into his arms. “When did Xiao-die become so good at comforting people? You’ve left me no room even to feel guilty.”

Xiao Yuanbao smiled. “It’s simply the truth. What is there to feel guilty about?”

Just then, a knock sounded outside. Wen Ge’er, who slept in the side room, spoke softly, “Fulang, Daren, the nurse who was looking after Young Master Jingzhe says he refuses to sleep.”

“What’s the matter?”

Qi Beinan sat upright at once.

“They say he’s fussing, insisting he wants to sleep in the same room as Daren.”

Qi Beinan laughed. “This child.”

All afternoon he had been like a little tail, sticking close wherever Qi Beinan went.

After dinner, the three of them had gone out to stroll through the night market to help digest their meal.

At the market, Qi Beinan bought him a puppet, a wooden Huarong Dao puzzle, two slingshots of different materials and patterns, and three little clay whistle figurines.

The child was so delighted his eyes stayed curved into crescents, humming little nursery rhymes under his breath.

By the time they returned home, it was already past his usual bedtime. Half the joy drained from his small face at once.

Pressing his lips together, he said softly to Qi Beinan, who was carrying him, “Daddy, I should go back to my room to sleep.”

Xiao-die had taught him the rules: when the hour came, he must go to bed.

He had learned the habit well.

It was already a quarter of an hour past the time for washing and sleeping. He knew that even with Daddy home, he could not break the rules—though in his heart he was reluctant to part from Qi Beinan.

A tiny wish flickered in his mind that Qi Beinan might say they could play a little longer.

But instead, Qi Beinan said, “All right. Go to bed early. Tomorrow Daddy will take you to the outskirts of the capital.”

Going to the outskirts was certainly exciting—of course it was!

But a four-year-old did not yet have the eyes to look far ahead. He only wished he could play a little longer right now.

Dragging his small steps like a little snail, he reached the doorway, then turned back. “Daddy, I’m going back to my room now.”

Qi Beinan waved. “Go on.”

The child shuffled two steps, crestfallen, then suddenly remembered something. He ran back quickly, afraid Qi Beinan might think him naughty for not sleeping.

“I didn’t take my clay whistle!”

Qi Beinan picked up the small donkey-shaped toy from the table and handed it to him.

Clutching the clay whistle, with no further excuse left, the child said again, “I’m really going to my room now~”

Qi Beinan guessed he wanted to keep playing and smiled, just about to say he could stay up a bit longer.

At that moment Xiao Yuanbao came out from the inner room. “The water’s ready. Go wash up.”

“Jingzhe, why aren’t you in bed yet?”

Hearing Xiao Yuanbao’s voice, the little one’s face flushed red, and he darted off like smoke.

Qi Beinan watched him run and turned to Xiao Yuanbao. “He wanted to play a bit longer. It wouldn’t have mattered.”

Xiao Yuanbao said, “I know you two haven’t had much time together. If he’d asked to play longer, how could I refuse? But look at him—I only asked once and he ran off himself.”

“He’s probably gone back to play with that pile of things in his room.”

…

Qi Beinan gathered his thoughts and said, “I’ll bring him over to sleep. If he doesn’t sleep properly, he won’t have any energy tomorrow.”

Xiao Yuanbao nodded. “Go fetch him.”

Qi Beinan put on an outer robe and went to the other room to carry Jingzhe back.

When the little one came over, he hid under the small blanket wrapped around him, too shy to look at Xiao Yuanbao. He lay against Qi Beinan and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep.

Seeing the child’s eyelashes fluttering nonstop, Xiao Yuanbao couldn’t help laughing inwardly. He reached out and tickled his side. “Still pretending? I noticed long ago.”

Unable to endure the tickling, the child burst into giggles and opened his eyes. “Xiao-die, don’t tickle me! Don’t tickle me!”

After a bit of laughing and fussing, they tucked him into the blankets.

He lay between the two of them, little feet pressed against Daddy and Xiao-die. It felt especially warm and steady, and the quilt smelled nice.

He happily nuzzled against Xiao Yuanbao’s shoulder, then rubbed against Qi Beinan’s arm.

Qi Beinan reached out and pulled him into his embrace, letting him sleep nestled in the crook of his arm.

The little one happily nuzzled Qi Beinan’s neck and said sweetly, “Jingzhe likes Daddy.”

Then he stretched out a hand to grasp Xiao Yuanbao’s hand on the other side. “And likes Xiao-die too.”

Xiao Yuanbao laughed. “You’re quite good at balancing things.”

“So do you like Daddy more, or Xiao-die more?”

“Like both! Like both the most, the most, the most!”

After saying that, he paused, eyes turning thoughtfully, and added, “But if Xiao-die buys Jingzhe one of those little puppies in cages by the roadside in Sweet Soup Alley, then I’ll like Xiao-die just a tiny bit more.”

Qi Beinan and Xiao Yuanbao could not help but laugh aloud.

Xiao Yuanbao tapped his nose lightly. “You’re quite the businessman, aren’t you?”

˙✧˖°🎓 ༘⋆｡ ˚