Ch 54: Guide to Feeding a Villainous Husband

The leader of the group looked down at the small figure in front of him and spoke in a booming voice.

“We’re here to eat, of course. What else would we be doing in a restaurant? Little runner, do you have any tables left?”

“Yes, of course! A large table just opened up. Please, come right in!” Qiu Chuan dared not delay for even a moment, fearing that a slight hesitation might earn him a slap that would send him flying.

The group of men followed him inside and crowded around a square eight-immortals table, filling it completely. Their presence was so intimidating that the people at the two neighboring tables instinctively hunched their shoulders. One of these tables was occupied by two scholars, who quickly finished their meal and immediately called for the bill.

Qiu Chuan served tea to the group.

“What would you gentlemen like to eat? We have a lunch set menu with one meat and two vegetable dishes, and for an additional five wen, you can eat as much staple food as you want.”

As he spoke, Qiu Chuan suddenly realized that if these men added five wen, they might just eat the kitchen’s entire supply of rice!

“We don’t want any of that bird food. Bring us something filling, lots of meat, and twenty large steamed buns. And we want two jugs of good wine. Do you have wine here?”

Qiu Chuan nodded vigorously.

“We have both baijiu and yellow wine. If you prefer another type of wine, we can fetch it from a nearby tavern.”

“Then bring us two jugs of baijiu.”

With that, they asked Qiu Chuan to read off the menu.

Qiu Chuan thought quickly and listed off the heartiest meat dishes. Sure enough, the group seemed quite satisfied with the selection.

After discussing amongst themselves, they began ordering.

First, they asked for a plate of marinated pig’s head, a plate of braised pig’s ears, a serving of garlic pork belly, and a dish of braised pork trotters.

Then, realizing they still weren’t ordering enough, Qiu Chuan suggested, “Gentlemen, do you like spicy dishes? If you do, you might enjoy our spicy chicken or boiled pork slices. If you like fish but don’t want to deal with bones, you could try our pickled fish or sweet and sour fish fillets. Oh, and there’s one dish that’s quite unique—you won’t find it anywhere else. It’s a specialty of our head chef.”

The man’s interest was piqued.

“You’ve got quite the mouth on you, kid. What’s this dish? Tell me more.”

Qiu Chuan cleared his throat and said, “It’s called walnut kidneys, but there are no actual walnuts in it. It’s a special method of frying pork kidneys, known for its benefits in strengthening the kidneys—just the thing for strong men like yourselves.”

“Great, we’ll have that!”

The man slammed the table, causing it to shake, and Qiu Chuan flinched along with it, thinking to himself that the pork kidneys delivered by the butcher finally had a place to go.

In addition to the walnut kidneys, they added two more dishes.

Qiu Chuan noted everything in his booklet and hurried off to the kitchen to place the order.

On the way, he passed the counter, where Yu Jiuque called him over.

“Xiao Chuan, what’s the story with that table?”

Even from a distance, Yu Jiuque could sense the intimidating atmosphere coming from the group.

The loud conversation at that table had already scared off several other customers.

Qiu Chuan hesitated and said, “I’m not sure what those men do for a living, but they’ve ordered some expensive dishes and two jugs of wine.”

Yu Jiuque picked up on his concern, also worrying that they might be dealing with someone trying to dine and dash.

However, he wasn’t too worried and reassured Qiu Chuan, “Don’t worry too much. If they cause any trouble, the officials from the Street Office will take care of it.”

Qiu Chuan thought about it and realized he was right.

The officials from the Street Office were regulars at the restaurant, and every time they visited, the owner would offer them wine and dishes. As a result, the restaurant had been open for a long time without encountering many troublemakers.

Carrying the order, Qiu Chuan ran to the kitchen. Qin Xia glanced at the order and picked out the more difficult dishes to handle himself, leaving the rest to Zheng Xinghua.

“Not a single vegetarian dish on this table? And who suddenly ordered the walnut kidneys?”

Qin Xia found it odd. He had made this dish a few times for some regular customers before, but no one had ordered it since.

Normally, fresh pork kidneys weren’t delivered to the kitchen daily, and even when they were, most people preferred stir-fried kidney dishes.

Qiu Chuan described the group of burly men at the table outside to Qin Xia, sounding a bit anxious.

“Boss, do you think they might eat and then refuse to pay?”

Qin Xia set the menu down and said, “In this business, we keep our doors open to welcome guests from all directions. It’s important not to judge people by their appearance. If they really refuse to pay, we can report it to the authorities.”

Qiu Chuan scratched his head with a smile.

“Boss, what you said is pretty much what the little boss said too. No wonder you two are a couple.”

As Zheng Xinghua passed by, she gently tapped Qiu Chuan on the head and teased, “You’re getting cheekier by the day. Now get back to work!”

Qiu Chuan responded and quickly ran off.

Qin Xia considered what Qiu Chuan had said, a small smile playing on his lips, and then asked Zhuang Xing to prepare the pork kidneys.

The walnut kidneys, true to their name, resembled walnuts, but as Qiu Chuan mentioned, they didn’t actually contain walnuts. Instead, the kidneys were fried to look like walnut kernels.

Of course, this was just Qin Xia’s guess—the exact origin of the dish’s name was already lost to time.

To fry them properly, the first skill tested was knife work.

The kidneys needed to be cut into thick rectangular pieces, with enough thickness to allow for scoring without cutting all the way through.

When scored properly, the pieces would keep their shape when fried, neither crumbling nor distorting.

Once golden brown and crispy, they were served with pepper and salt. Conveniently, there was still some pepper and salt left from the fried crispy chicken, so they didn’t need to prepare more.

Meanwhile, in the front hall, the restaurant had passed its busiest lunch period, and only a few diners remained. Among them, the two people sitting in a corner were the most conspicuous.

They had been sitting there since the restaurant opened at lunchtime, and despite being only two people, they had ordered a full table of six dishes, with an appetite that rivaled that of the burly men.

Yu Jiuque occasionally glanced their way, and whenever their eyes met, he sensed that they were trying to avoid his gaze.

He frowned slightly, looking from this table to the one with the burly men, feeling that something wasn’t quite right today.

Unbeknownst to him, his intuition wasn’t entirely off.

In the corner of the restaurant, Lian Wu quietly rubbed his overly full belly and looked at the person sitting across from him, whispering, “Ermao, are you sure your plan will work? I think we should have acted when the place was crowded. Now that it’s empty, if the owner refuses, there’ll be no one to help us reason with him.”

The man called Ermao had a hairy mole on his chin, giving him a somewhat sleazy appearance. Out of all the dishes on the table, Lian Wu had only eaten about a third; the rest had gone into Ermao’s mouth.

“You little brat, what do you know? Turn around and tell me what you see,” Ermao said.

Lian Wu turned his head and saw one of the men at the other table, whose arm was as thick as his thigh, gnawing on a piece of pork trotter. The sight made him shiver, and he said, “Ermao, I don’t think those guys are easy to deal with. Should we just make a run for it while we can?”

Ermao glared at him.

“Useless! I’ve scammed more than a dozen restaurants in this city, and I’ve never failed once! Don’t forget, if you run now, at most you’ll get a free meal. But if this works, the owner will have to pay us compensation!”

He then took another bite of food, spitting as he spoke, “And you’re right, those guys don’t look easy to mess with. That’s exactly what we need! Think about it—if we find something dirty in the food, won’t they get mad too? If we all make a fuss together, the owner will surely offer more to keep things quiet.”

Seeing Ermao’s confidence, Lian Wu didn’t dare argue further, though his face remained tense. He kept nervously glancing down at his sleeve.

A few moments later, two more dishes were brought to the other table.

The men were eating heartily, their faces flushed with drink as they poured out another round.

Ermao, noticing that they had finished one jug of wine and were just about to open the second, quickly turned to Lian Wu and said, “Now, Xiao Wuzi, it’s time!”

Lian Wu, trembling, pulled something from his sleeve and, without even looking, tossed it into the dish.

Ermao, dissatisfied with Lian Wu’s clumsiness, used his chopsticks to rearrange the food to make it look more convincing before letting out a loud, exaggerated shout.

“Hey, you there, runner! Get over here! There’s a bug in this dish!”

His shout drew the attention of the burly men at the other table and also brought Qin Xia from the kitchen and Yu Jiuque from behind the counter.

This was the first time such an incident had occurred since the restaurant opened. They prided themselves on their cleanliness, but without seeing the situation, it was hard to deny the possibility outright.

Qin Xia walked a half-step ahead of Yu Jiuque, reaching the table first. He politely said, “Dear customers, I am the owner of this establishment. Who mentioned finding a bug in the food?”

Ermao, with one hand clutching his throat in a theatrical display of disgust, pointed to the dish and said, “I did! It’s right there in this dish! How could you miss such a big bug?”

Qin Xia and Yu Jiuque followed his gesture and saw a green caterpillar, missing a segment, lying in a dish of stir-fried cauliflower. The bug was nestled in the broth among the scallions and cauliflower stems, making it hard to spot at first glance, especially for someone with poor eyesight.

However, after clearly identifying the type of bug, Qin Xia’s expression immediately turned cold.

“Gentlemen, it seems this bug was placed in the dish by none other than yourselves, wasn’t it?”